“This document was covered in so much ink it looked like Adam Levine’s torso,” Noah joked on Monday. “Like one of the pages had nipples.”
“By age 14, I knew I wanted to be president of the United States,” Fallon said, impersonating Buttigieg. “And, boy, the two years since have just flown by.”
The late-night hosts on Monday discussed the resignation of Kirstjen Nielsen, who had become the public face of the White House’s family-separation policy.
“Sometimes it feels like he has an unlimited lying plan with Verizon,” Noah said. “Like, why lie about this?”
The former vice president has been accused of inappropriate touching by a female politician in Nevada. Colbert got into the awkward details of those claims.
“The whole country has been rocked by the news that hundreds of parents have been accused of bribing their kids’ way into elite colleges — and also U.S.C.,” Noah said.
After the Republican senator used absurd graphics to send up the Green New Deal, the “Late Show” host gave him a taste of his own medicine.
It is not yet clear whether Smollett will return to the cast of “Empire.” James Corden joked, “It is very impressive that one person might be too much drama for the show ‘Empire.’”
“Put kids in cages” and “all that birther stuff” were left on the list, along with dozens of other items.